Sebastian: [takes Cameron’s hand]Thank you. [House notices the cozy scene and decides to intervene.]

House: You want third-world treatment? [turns up the thermostat] You got it. Boy, is it hot here in Jani!

Cameron: What are you doing?

House: What am I doing? [He knocks all of Sebastian’s things off of the tray of the bed.] Putting everything on the floor of the hut. Uh oh, wicked magic box with the moving pictures!

Cameron: You think he’s a hypocrite?

House: [unplugging the TV] Hypocrite? No, everyone in Africa’s got cell phones or running water. [Speaking of cell phones, it just got dropped in the toilet. It’s a tight fit, though, so House prods it down the hole with his cane.] Hah, this thing just will not flush.

Sebastian: Do you really think that if you come in here and make it a little hot, make it smell a little, that I’m just going to fold and abandon everything that matters to me?

House: [wiping his cane on Sebastian’s blanket] Lousy sanitation over there, too. You are not the same as them; your life is not the same. And you are cheapening everything they’re going through by pretending you are.

Sebastian: I am the same, I’m not special.

House: You can’t demand to be treated like any third-world sick person and call a press conference!

Sebastian: They treat me special! That doesn’t mean I am! Now what kind of selfish jerk wouldn’t take advantage of that fact?

TB Or Not TB, S2

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